Journal beginning: October 1, 2021

 (lifted from The Journeymen:Jim, I Wore a Tie Today I Got Dressed Up Today Michael, Michael I got dressed up today First time in a long time And you would say, "I look funny, we should be going out to dinner, drinking wine." Oh, Michael, Michael,  they said a lot of things But I didn't hear a word they said My mind kept wandering back to the last dinner  Back to the good times we had  Socializing and dreaming of cruising  Planning for the blessings of a granddaughter  and a wedding  We had everything to look forward to You had everything lined up  for golden years with Marcia, your love your wife. Chorus Oh, Michael, Michael, so you're riding on ahead Well, if that's how its going to be  When You reach the pearly gates, Michael, leave them cracked open for me The doctors did everything they could for you, you never woke up, you were already gone. So they dressed you up today, Michael  so today we got all got dressed up too. Chorus

Feels like 1973….but it’s 2023 Feeling impending doom, but trying to stay optimistic and hopeful that the mad state of the world won't crash down on our society. Laws keep the people from giving in to the evil part of their nature. In Jewish teaching we are half good and half bad, and must use the fear of God to control the impulses that cause the world to dive into chaos.  On October 7th the worst massacre of Jews happened since the Holocaust. When I read, Night by Elie Wiesel, I learned how Jews in Europe had been gassed to death. I tried to imagine the inhumanity a person needed to be reduced to so that they could be exterminated like bugs. We had an exterminator hired  because my parents didn't want crickets or ants coming into our house. I felt sorry for the bugs and wouldn't  ever harm them myself.  I felt the pain of the lives lost like they were just vermin to my core. Even as a child I thought adults were naive to think that the level of evil that was needed...

 I am building a retirement home in Florida and the money from the sale of my mother's house in florida will be used to buy more expensive furniture than I would have been able to afford, thank you Mom and thank you Dad for making me a more wealthy woman than I would have had. Although I like nice things I am really an old Hippie and could live on less and make my own entertainment.  My father and mother officially split up in Winter of  '79, I remember living in Vermont and my grandfather calling me and asking me to come to NY and "do something". I didn't, and the rest is stuff of lifetime channel drama. However in response to the split my father offered me a trip with him to Aspen, Colorado to ski. I had been trying to teach skiing at Mt. Snow (just graduated college) during the worst snow draught in history. I jumped at the chance to ski out west. My father dated in the evening and so did I. A woman he met told him, "....something always happens." It ...

 My teaching career was monumental by its continued paycheck protection. I made good steady money for my family and health insurance. According to all standards my life has been charmed and my career reputable. Since retiring and the advent of the pandemic I haven't given it much thought. Worrying I might die is scary enough. So, since retiring from teaching I have kept my social connections but not the professional connections.  I would like to sell at craft fairs but the covid thing made everything crazy. I have clung to people and want to keep video chats with Jillian. Amanda lives with me and has been watching me play video games all day and vape medical marijuana and. 

 It's October 29 and I felt motivated to wrote about what's been happening. My family motto is, 'Something always happens." We got that from when my mother left my father and he claimed he was so surprised and heartbroken that he and I spent 3 weeks in Aspen recovering. He met a lady, sort of looked like my mom, she was part Native American and very beautiful she told my father that motto and it worked like a charm, no just kidding he went further and further over to the dark end and it ended with him in a dementia facility in a private assisted living (different in some areas than a public one) living a well taken care of life. He aged into a perfect European Gentleman, the aids loved him and cried when he passed away. Im still on Twitter monitoring Jewhate accounts. I just reported one and put on my list another. Its the same old thing: Jews are Khazan Ashkenazi, ethnic cleansing the Palestinians (whatever that means), apartheid (even though 2 million Muslims live in...

 October 4, 2021 Im still enjoying life to the fullest. I am blessed to eat well and drink well, from Manors socializing : beer garden Halloween party, man jong, canasta I am happy to be actively enjoying being with he ones I love and socializing with my community. I am trying to develop a golf game and a writing hobby/passion. To do that I have created a schedule as if I am in school. There are periods for writing, yoga & laundry. Food planning, shopping and preparation are daily occurrences.  I call yoga: yoga, meditation, golf, gym Writing is : master class in writing, Re-reading and writing in blog entries, including this one.  Laundry is the usual: towels & sheets, and my sport cloths. I like to wear clean cloths Socializing is a primary activity for me. Besides sports I love socializing, eating & drinking. How much I love them became apparent when I couldn't go out to eat during the pandemic. I tried to turn my kitchen to a fine dinning experience but it...