Joy of Birth and Challenges of Illness

 September 7,2025

The joy of Asher Moses Finkelstein's birth came with the challenge of Mark's advancing Parkinson's Disease.

I am shopping for food and cooking for one a first in my life since college. I have been reexamining the activities in my life, For example I am alone and going out with couples has been my life for 45 years. Mark has  been a constant in my life like breathing and pot. I met Mark while trying to get my monthly supply of weed. He also had been using and selling pot since being a teenager. It was what some teenagers did in the 1970's to anesthetize one from the wars and bad choices humans make.  Now it's still a part of my life but I'm gonna ask Mark's doctor if it is for him.

I don't wanna stop because I still need that euphoria in my life. However I want more time to write and the weekends would be perfect since it will take the place of a couples social life. I thought about what life would be like without couple socializing and I decided it will give me the space in my life. I find most socializing boring and want to spend my years writing down my thoughts if nothing like the great American Novel appears at least I am exposing my ideas. I have been shouting online about coexistence between the Arabs and Israelis for 10 years. I want to portray my ideas for children because everything I've read on the subject is too complicated. It seems like people are more suseptable to erroneous thinking than ever before because of the lack of teaching about morality and critical thinking. AI doesn't help, exponentially affecting brains a zillion percent more than the stone tablet or printing press. 

My challenge is to keep Mark in my life. Remembering how linda moved into an over 55 community just at the point that her illness was invading her mind reminds me of what we are going through. Mark is unable to form friendships based on his interests so he is feeling isolated and jealous of my social life.

Little does he know the demons I am facing. My daughter holding it together by a thread and my husband already lost to delusions and hallucinations. I suggested to Amanda that her postpartum and depression should use some family activities and some pictures to cheer her up and she reacted with recoil as if I had criticized her. My husband thinks he loves me but also told me he slept with his old girlfriend (delusion) because I didn't visit Saturday night. I am living between other's egos without time and space for my ego. I thought by now I would have developed a writing style and practice that conveyed my ideas and was recognized by at least daytime television or X as having a voice. 

However I am struggling to keep my THC use under some semblance of control as well as eat a healthyish diet. Even my 14 year old dog looks to me for care and support. I am in need of a comfort vehicle. In the Addams family remake on Netflix Pugsly loves a Zombie who ultimately tries to kill him in the end. Like my relationship with THC. 

My joy with Asher is combined with my challenge dealing with Mark's Parkinson's Disease I am enjoying my family with all its roller coaster of changes. The one thing that is for certain in life is that something always happens and change is constant.